I know, it's been awhile. Although I had plenty in my journal, I struggled to put a blog together and needed some inspiration. I have been lucky to have formed a friendship with someone who may, in some way, understand some of the stressors and anxiety I battle with. I told this person I couldn't find the motivation to blog because I didn't know where to start. He responded, "Well, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Write about that." I thought it would be difficult to blog about apple pie, but then I experienced a quasi significant 'aha' moment.
I met with a potential new psychologist as I begin to make the transition to outpatient care. I detest starting over, though, because I have to go through the monotonous introduction which usually goes something like this:
"My name is Rebecca, I'm 21 and I have issues with control along with anxiety and OCD symptoms blah blah blah... I don't eat and also suffer with low self esteem..."
I wonder how many times she hears it a day. Eating disorder specialists have it made. Although every patient varies, there are plentiful similarities, exemplified by the "classic ED patient intro". I like to compare it to pie. Therapists, like chefs must have most, but certainly not all, treatment plans down to a science. Plus, their salaries definitely don't hurt.. Though pie has various tastes, looks and stories behind them, each recipe produces the same result--a pie. We are made up of various ingredients, that when stirred together, helps produce the eating disorder.
I left the meeting feeling confident and most importantly, connected. The establishment of rapport between clinician and client is one of the most important factors for prognosis (it makes sense). If I didn't feel comfortable, I wouldn't share my deepest thoughts and fears nor would I feel like she "gets me".
Sometime after making a pit-stop at Twist (best fro yo EVER), ED decided to visit. A 35 (though it felt much longer) minute serious visit. The thoughts were overpowering and brought me down to a long-lost feeling of hopelessness. Thankfully however, Ed stepped out while I booked my flight to Pittsburgh! :)
To cope with the feeling of hopelessness and strong negativity, I turn to the power of tea. Green tea with a hint of coconut that gives it a chai taste is perfection. tea is a coping mechanism in that it always warms me up-- pun intended.As I sip the hot tea I attempt to experience the five senses.
1. Touch: warmth of the cup on contact
2. Sound: the tea kettle steaming and the sound of my slurp
3. Sight: the way the tea seaps out of the bag into the cup to freedom, while leaving the bad behind in the bag
4. Smell: The essence of flaor that will soon touch my taste buds
5. Taste: Ah. The aha moment that assures me I'm relaxed and warm
The power of the five senses is extraordinary as my thoughts slow down and I am able to live in the present moment. After such a long, difficult day, I enjoyed a slice of my neighbor's homemade apple pie (it really is to die for) with a cup of tea to soothe me. I think from on I will compare eating disorders, in general, to pie. Tea is the best remedy for pies.