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Thursday, October 15, 2009

The good fight

Wow. Today has been an incredible day. I have received such positive and beautiful feedback from others. Amy for your support throughout my recovery process thus far--your success--no, your progress (because I know there are and will be difficult times for a while) has inspired and motivated me. Thank you for reaching out and opening your heart to me. Despite the compliments, I still experience difficulty owning them. To be honest, I'm really not sure why I feel I don't deserve them. Perhaps I view my advice and care to others as 'civil duty'. To me, helping others is the foundation of all my morals. I would take a bullet for any one of my friends in a heartbeat, if it meant restoring their happiness and saving their life. Even more, I believe I put such immense energy towards others as a way to cover up my own problems and insecurities. I know this mentality is not the most healthy, therefore I vow to start making changes. Thank you all again for reading my blog and for giving such positive feedback--I can't tell you how rewarding and meaningful your comments are.
Today I was also inspired by two very important people in my life. My dietician today shared that she also struggled with an eating disorder. I was shocked. How could someone who adores food, self-care and life in general once have an eating disorder? She reminded me that there is hope, and though the journey is long and difficult: it's worth it. My life is at stake. My life is worth it. Then there's Brittni . She has been tip-toeing around  a fine line that separates the bridge from land. But today, she crossed it. She took a chance and not only went for it, but also owned it . Today, she stepped onto the bridge and I genuinely believe she will make it to the other side. I admire her for her strength, audacity and strong will to take that step and make a change, for the better.
Yes, today I feel inspired and motivated to keep fighting the good fight because:

  • I realize my passion and potential to positively impact others
  • Bad times do eventually come but they also pass
  • My life is worth it. I am worth it.

You all are worth it. What are your passions? What are your dreams? Surely, you must have a tendency to foresee some kind of goal or future. Maybe you recollect the thought more than once. It's called a gut feeling. My advice today is to stick to it. Your head may tell you one message, but if the heart doesn't agree there will be no chance for contentment. What keeps me going? My gut feeling that I need to help others. I need to recover so I can share my story and help others recognize the inner and outer beauty I see in them. I want to travel the world, meet people, do things. I want my life. So the take home message? As cliche as it sounds, always remember to follow your heart.

Flying out to Pittsburgh tomorrow with Jamie! (To be continued)

"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart."


  1. Have so much fun in Pittsburgh! I am wishing you a perfect trip. Take lots of photos :D

    Intuition goes against every particle that is ED. Same as following your heart.

  2. Bec I wouldnt have been able to go through the phone call without you by my side, You give me so much strength and tough love, and i love you for that, THANKYOU