Today, I was convinced by my outpatient therapist to read Jenni Schaefer's Life Without Ed. I suppose my resistance to read her memoir surfaces from others' reviews and my own fear-- fear that this book may help me, maybe? After all, I did believe I was the brilliant eating disorder patient who claimed Ed as an abusive significant other. Perhaps I'm afraid I'll be too inspired, or maybe I fear the 'aha' moment, when everything will click. Maybe. But more importantly, I think I've resisted because I still have difficulty separating myself from the eating disorder. It has become such a big part of my life that I've lost sight of who I was beforehand.
For those of you who want to know more about what I may be going through and eating disorders in general, I suggest reading a copy of Schaefer's book. I'm sure it can be found at any library or Barnes & Noble near you and I strongly feel is may help share the insight I am unable to explain in words.