Trader Joe's,TWIST, and Whole Foods: All a girl really needs
Note: Almond butter and TJ's blueberry bran muffins!
Dinner tonight was a Mexican Lettuce Wrap: meatless crumbles cooked with salsa (and hot sauce, duh) on the stove-top, multigrain pilaf & crumbled blue corn chips alongside a pear & cranberry salad
In the words of Borat, 'Great success!'
Moving right along..
I, among many, many individuals with eating disorders, train my mind to think dichotomously. The black and white mindset associates with the need for perfectionism-- and for me, the constant need for productivity. I am restless, I try to occupy myself with various hobbies, errands and chores to help the time pass, but the days just seem endless. In fact, my favorite time of day is the moment my head makes contact with the pillow. Because it's at that rare time that I don't have to do anything. It's 'me time'-- time to just be. Lately I've been feeling indispensably anxious, as I desperately seek satisfaction through exercise, reading, running errands and whatever else my imagination stirs up. I can't sit still. I can't 'just be'. Why?
It's human nature to worry. Our minds wander and anticipate, 'what will happen?' Some though, such as those who think dichotomously and whom strive for perfection, take it to an extreme. For example, I've damaged every relationship I've been in because I constantly searched for something--anything-- to be wrong. The moment I'm content, the anxiety resurfaces. I need to work on 'just being'. Today I partook in a mindfulness exercise during which I noticed my thoughts, quite literally, coming and going, similarly to a wave. The wave approaches and crashes against the shore before it is swept back into the sea. The exercise taught a crucial lesson. Though thoughts come, they will also go. The key is to let it happen-- to just be. So, rather than stress about productivity, I should will take this opportunity to enjoy the rare down time I have been gifted. I will try to just be. I challenge you to give it a try. Can you sit by yourself in a quiet room for 5 minutes? Take note of thoughts as they ride onto shore and wash away. My goal is to recognize and distinguish racing thoughts from my mind's perception of thoughts. Then, perhaps I'll be able to 'just be'. As the Beatles so eloquently sang, "And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be."
As another side note, please don't take your relationships for granted. You never know what you have until it's gone.
P.S. I'm very curious as to who actually reads my silly, little blog. If you do (and even if you don't, yourself, keep a blog), would you please care to comment or e-mail me? I won't bite :) I just find such incredible inspiration and motivation from the rest of the blog community, and I want to make sure I thank each and every one of you-- Blogging has been my saving grace, especially since my departure from Princeton's EDU.
Have a wonderful evening.