There is more to life than the present moment. While it's important to 'just be', I've found it's more beneficial to look at the big picture. College was is the once in a lifetime experience I'll never get to relive. But, lately I've had a desire for more, I've been dreaming of the future I can potentially make mine. I want to travel. I want to explore and learn. Though I'm not the most intellectually adept, I am a closet nerd. I'd love to venture from places such as the History of Modern Art Museum to the world's greatest landmarks. I want to give to others. I am fortunate to have been raised in a healthy, comfortable household. Thus, there is no excuse to live life without sharing a bit of what I have. The Jewish people call this act, Tikkun Olam, a Hebrew phrase that means, "repairing the world". There is an abundance of potential for every single person born on this Earth. I believe we were brought to this world for a reason and purpose, though many (including myself) have yet to figure out just what it is or who are blind sighted. Inside of each and every one of us, there is powerful, passionate and unique force that drives ambition and power. We hold the power to do anything we set our minds to. We are all worth it.
But I don't want to go to the museums or third world countries alone. I want to establish a lifetime full of memories, laughs and tears with my best friend, as I dream that there is someone in this great, big world who shares my aspirations and passions in life. I believe in fate, faith and love and I won't settle for anything less than everything.
Despite my revelation, as I look ahead I often wonder, "Why then, do I hold onto this eating disorder? Why do I allow ED to hold me back from this apparent 'potential'?" But the truth is, there may not be a concrete answer, thus I should not waste time searching for it. I am what I am and have what I have, in this moment, and that's good enough for me. Everything happens for a reason, and though life is not always fair, it's all we've got. So, I will make the most out of the present to aim for the brighter future that I know awaits me.