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Monday, November 9, 2009

Manic Mondays

(Ok, not really but if I tell myself the day will be busy, I'll be more motivated and feel more productive.)

Can I just share the most delectable breakfast I've had in a very long time? This morning I made myself a bowl of oatmeal with non-sweetened vanilla soy milk, 1 Tbl of almond butter, a drop of Choc Dreams PB, sprinkled with cinnamon. After warmed, I spooned a dallop of Fage plain yogurt. Ohh mahh gahh. I didn't want to reach the bottom of the bowl. Delicious.

Anyways, it's the start of a fresh, new week which can only mean new goals, new agendas and fresh attitudes. Last night as I lay in bed I thought about the goals I wanted to set for myself for this upcoming week. Thus began the schedule writing. Do you ever find yourself planning daily schedules-- by the hour? I do and though it appears to be a well organized and productive way to life, when taken to the extremes, it becomes obsessive and unhealthy. Especially for someone with rigidity issues... aka me. Nonetheless, I sketched my schedule for the day:
(Sorry about the poor lighting)


I believe the reason I'm so fond on set to-do lists is because it gives me a purpose in the day. Lists allow me to feel a sense of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. Unless, of course I don't complete every agenda-- then there's problems. Hence why I need to become more flexible, and less rigid, with lists-- and with life. My hour-by-hour to-do list is symbolic of years in my life. At the start of every school year I set agendas and goals for myself. For instance, at the start of freshman year of college I was determined to gain a well-liked, innocent reputation from everyone. When setbacks occurred, which they did plenty of times, I would beat myself up-- because in my eyes, I failed myself (just another example of the mirror's lies). The first week of my junior year I decided I wanted to leave certain persons from my past in the past and focus on a studious, healthy & fit self. Consequently, that agenda didn't turn out the way I had planned, since I ended up in a hospital bed. 

How do I make the transition from someone obsessed, rigid and overly strong-willed about everything in life (whoa, dichotomous thinking-- slow down) to someone who allows some breathing room, free will and falls along the way? The yellow brick road is not, as I have learned and have yet to discover, paved with smooth gold. There are bumps, obstacles and perhaps the occasional cowardly lion that I must be prepared to face and deal with. Er lies the core of my mental work.

Today I challenge you all to stand in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and ask, 'what do I see?' Write down everything you notice, including both positive and negative NON-physical qualities. What beauty can you find? What could you work on? Then set yourself a goal:

...the little book of secrets...


This morning I saw someone with fear in her eyes and passionate energy in her heart.
I saw a girl ready to put last week's problems to rest and face the new week- head on.
My goal is to focus on what I love and then what I dislike about myself and how I can go about altering (rather than completely changing) the qualities I have the capability of changing.
I will not get discouraged by unmet goals. I will try and go with the flow despite any spontaneity. 

Remember, the mirror lay in your hands. It is up to you to decide what your reflection will show-- You are the fairest of them all. <3 


"I won't pretend that I'm someone else, for all time. When will my
reflection show who I am inside?"- Mulan


I'll check in later this afternoon!





9 comments:

  1. i love to do lists for the same reason- i don't blame you!
    this post is beautiful though! you are right-- you can do it, seriously you seem like you are on the right track

    xoxo
    shelley

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  2. ah i have made myself many similar lists/schedules i often feel like i need them when my life feels particularly overwhelming. but then the expectations creep in...the need to follow the list to the letter, which can end up in a very frustrated me at the end of the day. flexibility is hard, but since we both know life doesn't always go as planned it's important to go with the flow. sometimes a less specific list can make it easier to be flexible, and even scheduling "whatever" time when i have no obligations/plans and i can do what i am feeling in that moment.

    (side note i once was joking with a group member saying how i'm just going with the flow and he flat out laughed at me and was like, oh okayyy)
    what a wonderful mental exercise, i am definitely trying it tomorrow morning :)
    yay for fresh attitudes!!

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  3. omg i'm exactly the same. i wrote about my scheduling in a few on my college essays! hahaha. also talked about how piano allows me to deviate from my anomalous lists ;]
    i hope you can see the progress you have made because i can see it through this post alone! take time to slow things down a bit, i know its tough and i struggle with the same things. but i know you have it in you :]
    keep up the good work hun!

    <3 Becca

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  4. I don't really do schedules but I guess that's because I'm in Uni and there's still somewhat of a 'fixed' schedule to follow. That said, I'm on study leave right now and my list should simply say 'STUDY' which I really should do... right after catching up on blogs and having breakfast. Hehe.

    Inspiring post as always and while I haven't looked in the mirror yet, I will be straight after this and put myself up for your little challenge!

    xx

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  5. i've started to-do lists again recently, and have noticed there are about 4 pads of paper around my house with them - next on my to-do list: consolidate the list!!!

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  6. I always do to do lists - it's like it brings instant peace to my life and I feel instantly calmed. I've always been like this, it's my 'healthy' way of keeping order :)
    xx

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  7. this is a really great post and i think just what i need today to 'wake me up'. i will do that exercise to look in the mirror and ask myself what i see. beautiful words rebecca
    xoxo

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  8. That looks eerily similar to my agenda. I've been trying to scale back on my need to plan but it's like once you start it's so hard to stop!

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  9. I feel much more peaceful when i do lists...however, i never plan by the hour....i just list what i want to do during the day and in the evening cross out what i have accomplished. Like this, i am more flexible, and less stressed to "do" something right now because the plan says so...if i plan a yoga routine but i am too lazy/nervous/absent-minded to do it during the day, i can still stay one more hour awake at night and do it then, and cross it out...Also, i always make sure to leave enough time for some spontaneous activities, so in the end of the day, if i haven't managed to cross some points, i can always tell myself "but i did this and that instead!" and simply transfer the undone tasks at the end of the day.
    i do enjoy planning. i don't write it down always, but i do plan always in the back of my head.

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