Can I just share the most delectable breakfast I've had in a very long time? This morning I made myself a bowl of oatmeal with non-sweetened vanilla soy milk, 1 Tbl of almond butter, a drop of Choc Dreams PB, sprinkled with cinnamon. After warmed, I spooned a dallop of Fage plain yogurt. Ohh mahh gahh. I didn't want to reach the bottom of the bowl. Delicious.
Anyways, it's the start of a fresh, new week which can only mean new goals, new agendas and fresh attitudes. Last night as I lay in bed I thought about the goals I wanted to set for myself for this upcoming week. Thus began the schedule writing. Do you ever find yourself planning daily schedules-- by the hour? I do and though it appears to be a well organized and productive way to life, when taken to the extremes, it becomes obsessive and unhealthy. Especially for someone with rigidity issues... aka me. Nonetheless, I sketched my schedule for the day:
(Sorry about the poor lighting)
I believe the reason I'm so fond on set to-do lists is because it gives me a purpose in the day. Lists allow me to feel a sense of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. Unless, of course I don't complete every agenda-- then there's problems. Hence why I need to become more flexible, and less rigid, with lists-- and with life. My hour-by-hour to-do list is symbolic of years in my life. At the start of every school year I set agendas and goals for myself. For instance, at the start of freshman year of college I was determined to gain a well-liked, innocent reputation from everyone. When setbacks occurred, which they did plenty of times, I would beat myself up-- because in my eyes, I failed myself (just another example of the mirror's lies). The first week of my junior year I decided I wanted to leave certain persons from my past in the past and focus on a studious, healthy & fit self. Consequently, that agenda didn't turn out the way I had planned, since I ended up in a hospital bed.
How do I make the transition from someone obsessed, rigid and overly strong-willed about everything in life (whoa, dichotomous thinking-- slow down) to someone who allows some breathing room, free will and falls along the way? The yellow brick road is not, as I have learned and have yet to discover, paved with smooth gold. There are bumps, obstacles and perhaps the occasional cowardly lion that I must be prepared to face and deal with. Er lies the core of my mental work.
Today I challenge you all to stand in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and ask, 'what do I see?' Write down everything you notice, including both positive and negative NON-physical qualities. What beauty can you find? What could you work on? Then set yourself a goal:
This morning I saw someone with fear in her eyes and passionate energy in her heart.
I saw a girl ready to put last week's problems to rest and face the new week- head on.
My goal is to focus on what I love and then what I dislike about myself and how I can go about altering (rather than completely changing) the qualities I have the capability of changing.
I will not get discouraged by unmet goals. I will try and go with the flow despite any spontaneity.
Remember, the mirror lay in your hands. It is up to you to decide what your reflection will show-- You are the fairest of them all. <3
"I won't pretend that I'm someone else, for all time. When will my
reflection show who I am inside?"- Mulan
I'll check in later this afternoon!