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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Operation Beautiful--> Operation Rebecca?!

I am inspired. I feel empowered. I feel strong. I feel invincible, and in this moment, I feel beautiful.

Yesterday Steve and I drove to Barnes & Noble to pick up a copy of Caitlin Boyle's Operation Beautiful.  I had chills on the surface of my skin and butterflies swirling in my stomach as I stood in the self-improvement section and eagerly scanned the shelves.  Then, I saw it.  The book that has transformed thousands of lives, including Caitlin's.  I flipped through the pages inhaling the smell of an unopened book and letting the warmth from the passion radiate under my skin.  All of a sudden, I froze.  "What's wrong, what's wrong?!" Steve asked, slightly concerned.  "Oh my gosh, look-- it's me!"   Yes, the entry I submitted was actually published!  It was probably one of the most surreal and humbling experiences of my life.  I feel honored to be just a little part of something so magnificent, empowering and beautiful.  Since the purchase of Operation Beautiful I have done a lot of thinking and re-evaluating on my life and journey in recovery thus far.

When I first came across the Operation Beautiful website, I was stunned and left in complete awe.  I often heard stories of individuals changing the world through their passions and determination, but until I was directed to the website and then to Caitlin's blog, I actually had faith.  I had faith that it is possible to make a difference--that one voice really does matter.  Operation Beautiful has given hope to strangers through complete selflessness.  I have been in recovery from an eating disorder for a year now, and I can't help but to think back to when I entered the hospital for the first time.  I was physically and mentally at my worst and I was weak, but I had never felt more inspired and determined.  As I lay in bed I wrote my very first journal (and soon-to-be) blog entry.

Since that post, I have gone through several treatment facilities and a plethora more of blog posts.  I have felt determined and I have felt hopeless.  There have been many occasions in which I wanted to give up.. but then I remembered the mission of Operation Beautiful, and the incredible person behind it.  It give me the faith I need to keep tucked in my back pocket.  It is missions such as this that provide proof that anything is possible, if we are passionate and willing enough to put forth such energy.  And most importantly, this book has reminded me of my own mission--my vow to work towards recovery so that I can (potentially) impact lives through my own experiences.  But I know that in order to help others, I must help myself first-- there is no other way.  Therefore, I must remind myself that I am beautiful and that if I trust the brutal recovery process, that Emerald City will be waiting for me.


  1. This is so exciting doll!!! I am so happy that you are able to recognize what we all see in you....Beauty! You are the purest soul I think I have ever chatted with. Just over words I can feel it!

    This is so great your submission was published!!! WOOO HOOO!


  2. It so amazing that your submission was published! I am going to go buy that book because of your influence. Thank you for always commenting on my blog and truly being an inspiration.

    You, my dear, are beautiful (both inside & out).


  3. Congrats on getting your submission published as part of a fantastic project :-)


  4. I looked for the book on Tuesday, but didn't find it! I am going to check again today. I am so proud of you for having a post in there. And I am so proud of how far you have come in your recovery. You are stronger and more beautful than you will ever understand. I pray that one day you will understand!! Make sure you enter my painting giveaway. I would love for you to have one!

  5. Congrats on being in the book! So neat how you can serve as an inspiration to are beautiful!!!

  6. I'm in the book too! I'll have to look for it at the bookstores. YAY! I'm glad you're part of this movement, too....though you suffered a lot, your story will be out there, published to help tons of other people going through similar things!

  7. I'm buying the book and passing it on to a friend who has been in and out of inpatient treatment facilities - I think it's something she needs.
    You ARE beautiful.

  8. Oh Rebecca, I am so proud of you.
    I can only imagine what it must have felt like to open that book and see your entry staring back at you. You deserve to feel like you are a part of such a big and empowering movement... because you are. Even if your entry hadn't made it, you should know that what you've done on the internet and in your own life has affected people all around you. You are an inpiration, and don't ever forget that :)

    <3 Tat

  9. i cannot wait to read your page. oh becca you are amazing and i hope you know how far you've come.
    YOU INSPIRE ME simple as that.

  10. Wow, congratulations! That's awesome that your story was published :)

  11. I am so glad to read this as I never anticipated the year mark being so tough, but it's caused me to think back as of late also. With all these emotional flashbacks (not just bad ones; I have so much gratitude for having met such wonderful girls during recovery at Pton) this is the reassurance of support and understanding that's sincerely important and helpful. I can't wait to look for Operation Beautiful on the shelf! It's easy to feel isolated when time has passed, so from the bottom of my heart, thanks for sharing the faith.

    I was recently listening to one of the more uplifting bands I like and a lyric something along the lines of, "every time you love, let it lift someone else up" reminds me how powerful it is to spread this type of faith because as you said, "I have felt determined and I have felt hopeless." Ditto!! I think strength comes from sharing that determination and just being open to receiving it during the harder times.

    Anyway, you're a beautiful writer so thanks for your impact (more than you know) and you are beautiful, girl. ♥

    p.s. I also love how you said before, "recovery isn't meant to be easy or enjoyable, but it is meant to be worth it." That helps me when the fighting gets frustrating. :)

  12. This is strong and leaves me with a chill.
    Caitlins project helped change my own life as well, and it is so powerful to think of. It touch every cell of my body, and we both have so much to be proud of my friend.
    You are beautiful, you must believe that. You are a fighter and a survivor. You have a kind heart, and a unique spirit. Your body can take you to the moon and back if you treat it with respect and love.

    You are right, we need to do what we can to be an inspiration. To show people that eating disorders are serious, deadly serious. That this is not how we want the world to be. Work for self-acceptance, self-love. Work for loving yourself, as well as other.
    So proud of you, you will fight your way through this. And you are already an incredible inspiration and a hope to so many.


  13. wow. I am so moved by this story and I am so proud of how far you have come. That is such a truly wonderful story that definitely deserves to be in the book. After reading this I can't wait to read the book!

    You. Are. Amazing :]


  14. that is awesome!!!
    you have made a difference :)
    x jillian s

  15. i'm so excited you got in the book honey! it's an amazing feeling seeing something you put out there in a book, to inspire other people! i know that's how i felt!!!

  16. Congrats on getting in the book!

  17. WOW! Congrats! Although I am not surprised... You aren't a blogger, you are a writer. Your writing is incredible. Keep it up, beautiful!

  18. Awww! This is so awesome girlie. Congrats on making it in the bok. Keep smiling!

  19. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! So cool! Congrats on your entry being published. I totally want to pick up the book today!!!

  20. Wowwww. You have come a long way, for sure. How inspiring, girlie!
    And it's so awesome that she used your writing!
    Keep up the good work :)