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Monday, October 4, 2010

I'd like to take a moment to vent.

Because you just don't know.

Every single beautiful human being is different.  Our past experiences help construct who we are and how we view the world.  As a blogger and admirer, I must remember that for as much respect and dignity I have for the bloggers I follow, I am in a different place in my life, and that I can not compare my situation with another's.  
Personally,  I would not be this far in eating disorder recovery if it weren't for the support and motivation of the blogging community.  Such men and women show me how empowering being strong really is.  Your blogs motivate me to lead a healthy, happy and strong life-- which I can only have if I take care of myself.  More specifically, being featured in Caitlin Boyle's book, Operation Beautiful, has forever impacted my life.  It showed me how the power of words can affect someone's perspective on themselves and on life-- and that one voice really can make such a significant difference in this world.  Since its release, I have vowed to commit myself to my recovery so that I can, one day, help others, who may share similar struggles and experiences.  So, rather than be angry and spiteful for having an eating disorder, I
must use this experience to guide the path of my life, remembering, "You can't change the cards you are dealt, just how you play the hand" (Randy Pausch).

This post was constructed as a response to the hype surrounding the recent article posted in Marie Claire magazine.  Upon reading it, I immediately became defensive.  How dare someone try to portray what it's like for someone to have an eating disorder?  How dare someone write about the superficialities surrounding such a daunting and deadly illness?  I was appalled and I was hurt, until I remembered a tid-bit that I always share with others:  "Take what others say with a grain of salt".  Why is it so hard to take your own advice?!  I stood up from my computer and took a walk with hopes of clearing my mind.  Thank goodness it worked, and I was able to calm down.  Rather than over-react I must remain sensitive.  Unless you, personally, have had an eating disorder, you'll never know.  I can not put it any more simply not bluntly, and I mean this with the utmost respect for those who care.  You just won't know.  What's more, we must remember that anyone can skew any bit of information to make their story a success.  After all, the media is not synonymous with 'fact'-- let us not forget.

Before all defense mechanisms become in tact, I urge myself to be more sensitive and appreciative for those who do try to support eating disorder awareness and recovery, even though they just won't know.


  1. i agree the article was poorly written and researched. i am so glad you got to be featured in caitlin's book and that it has changed your life. mc will definitely lose a lot of readers over this, and the bloggers will gain many more. love!

  2. As you know from my post, I agree with you in that we all have to remember that we all have different needs and everything we read or hear has to be taken with a grain of salt. We have to trust our own judgment and do what we know we need to do for us to be healhty and happy.

    With that said, I also think people who have suffered through EDs are a bit hypersensitive to the issues that are related to disordered behavior. I know I am at least, as my experiences have shaped who I am today for better or for worse. I have gained so much strength from blogs and the relationships I've formed, but at the same time I know that if I'm engaging in something I shouldn't be (overexercising, restricting more than I should, etc.) that I can flip to any number of "healthy" living blogs and find a justification for my behavior.

    That doesn't mean I'm weak for reading them or that anyone else is responsible for my behavior, but rather that I have a disease and need the strength and support to NOT seek out sources that might reinforce these habits.

    Whether or not the bloggers in the feature have disordered behavior isn't for me to judge, as it doesn't affect my life or my health. And while I don't agree with the way the feature's author went about things and presented them in a rather unprofessionable light, I also believe she has valid points and isn't really so off base. Sometimes I feel like no one can say ANYthing about those bloggers that isn't 100 positive without a huge backlash from "the community." There are both sides to consider and points both ways, with both sides given the freedom to express their opinions. After all, isn't that what blogging is about?

    You know I love ya ;)

  3. Great post! I totally agree with the fact that we must find a way that our ED has helped us, as weird as it sounds, in order to move on from it and not be bitter or confused about "why". I agree with you 100% about the desire to help others with some of the same problems we have been thorough, and I also agree that nobody can understand an ED if they have not experienced one. That being said however, I think they can empathize and gain some understanding.

    Sorry for the rant, but bottom line is: I agree!!

    Hope you are doing well!


  4. I actually liked the article....

    Dana xo

  5. Thanks for being so honest - I'm so glad blogging has been such a positive influence for you!

  6. Yes, yes and um...yes!

    Well said. That article was way crazy. (0:


  7. seriously girl- I adore you and your honesty. Seriously God has SO much for you to do on this earth - He NEEDS TO USE YOU! it made my heart SO happy to hear you talk about getting more connected with God.. He is the best person to be in a relationship with! LOVE YOU!

  8. you are right--your own words are so powerful and meaningful to yourself and others!

    i'm with you on that article...sometimes all that is written is not good, i hate it when things are sensationalized....

  9. I was shocked by the article - it was disgusting.